What is in a name?

In one of the last episodes of Gilmore Girls, Rory and Lorelei are talking about decisions. I think it's right after Rory's boyfriend proposes to her and she obviously has to make a choice between life with the man she loves, and the dreams for a career she has been chasing for her whole life. Rory is conflicted and just wants some direction but Lorelei refuses to force her hand in either direction.

"It's like the bird-versus-turtle Halloween costume all over again," Rory says. Lorelei replies,"Well, I didn't crack then, and I'm not gonna crack now. I think you just need to figure it out. And remember, that flying-turtle-bird was the most original costume in the third grade."

I don't know about anyone else, but I loved that moment. The show had kind of gone to shit by that point without it's original writer, and I was losing hope that the conclusion of the series would ever reunite us with the original spirit of the story I had fallen in love with. Yet here it was, a moment! And that moment really hit me. Of course, there are decisions whose conclusions are either yes or no, but sometimes it's equally acceptable to forge your own way and make yourself into a flying-turtle-bird.

Decisions are the bane of my existence! I'm the worst at making choices, and I usually put off the actual deciding until the absolute last moment, and by then the choice is no longer a choice, I have limited myself, and I am frustrated beyond all reckoning, with a healthy dose of self-loathing thrown in for fun. It's yet another piece of my elegant persona that is in need of work! So, when I started this blog, I had just made a decision that was uncomfortable in its aftermath. Every once in a while I pull out my DVD's of Gilmore Girls and watch through the series, and I had just watched that episode was feeling as though my whole life was one great big, ill fitting, flying-turtle-bird costume. So I did the logical thing, I bitched about it online, here!

This blog was conceived of as a place for me to try on the costume, beleaguer the state of my current existence, and hope that some order would follow. Obviously, I abandoned this whole enterprise for a while, but I'm returning to it now with the goal of some progress in my character development. That's all for tonight I suppose. Tomorrow's topic for discussion will be some rather awkward mac'n cheese and very fluffy brownies!

Teensey Yum Update

The pop-tarts were amazing! Using this recipe from BrownEyedBaker, Jackson and I made Nutella, apricot and lingonberry tarts that looked a little something like this:

Le-finished product! Pretty nice for a first try.

There was no way these things were escaping sans-sprinkles!

As an addition to the original recipe, we whipped up a little bit of a confectioner's glaze and I glooped some on as a simulation of the thick and overpowering icing on the commercially produced pop-tarts. Honestly, the apricot ones are my fave, Jack is certainly a fan of the Nutella, but I haven't yet happened upon a lingonberry tart! Jack is really enjoying them and having something like this on hand has been great for a guy who forgets to eat breakfast 75% of the time. We ended up with about 11 tarts, but I have a feeling this was due to my rectangles being a little on the thin side. I think I prefer them this way, because I'm not the worlds largest crust fan. We had a little leftover dough, but I was too lazy to work on it for a 12th tart.... Points to improve upon for next time: use an egg wash to help seal the edges of the tarts. It wasn't too bad, but several of them leaked all over the place and we ended up with some slightly empty tarts. I'm a sprinkle-whore, so the sprinkling and the icing may be a little excessive, but Jack and I are pretty satisfied with 'em! 

So, yeah! That's about it for the day... I had intended to post something a bit angstier, but decided that pop-tarts were much more entertaining. I never had pop-tarts as a kid, like the OP of the recipe, and when I finally was on my own and able to snack on whatever forbidden food I could get my hands on, I was sorely disappointed... The store bought ones were pretty disgusting, but were satisfactory enough to get me through an 8 AM Bio. class, which explains why I was so darn fascinated by the concept of making them at home. Now that I know how to make these, I'm pretty sure I don't have an excuse anymore to raid the vending machines at BSU.

Not so Doris Day!

I think that I totally missed the "housecleaning gene" if something of that sort could really exist! Domesticity is NOT my strong suit. As a kid, our house was always a disaster, mainly because we were going in every different direction at all hours of the day. It was insanely hard to keep up with a presentable home when between school, work and Sis and I, strangers were also traipsing around the house for Dad's business. The downstairs looked relatively presentable most of the time, but the rest of the house was usually relatively demolished! Moving down here was interesting because for the first time I was responsible for my own space. Alas, the habits were set and in Boise I've been battling my tendency for slovenliness with some success.

When it was the Roomie and I living here, I alternated between phases of an almost bipolar housekeeping practice. Roomie and I would trade off having months of anal attentiveness to apartment, and months of pretty hardcore negligence. Now that I live with Jackson, things are a little different. Roomie wanted a clean house as much as myself, but Jackson feels a little less of that compulsion. Not that he's a complete slob, it's just that he doesn't really feel much of a need to have things really clean and when cleaning actually occurs he doesn't really seem to do deep cleans. I think he just doesn't see dirty! He tries though, and that means there is hope for us. Huzzah!

Since one of my old friends came down from CDA for a visit, there was no way in Hell she was going to see the normal dishevelment of my abode! So, I set to cleaning the place with a vengeance. Jack really tried to help, but he wasn't the most useful of participants. Angie (the visiting friend) came, saw, and conquered my newly tidied place, and the aftermath leaves us with a ground zero that will hopefully be maintained! Who knows... More than anything though, this has led me to understand the monumental amount of cleaning supplies I never use.

Just a little disconcerting. When did I start to hoard so many chemicals? When I first moved down here I think the most I had was some Simple Green, toilet cleaner and some dish soap! Suddenly I have two kinds of carpet cleaner, Barkeepers Friend, Comet, Simple Green, chlorine bleach, window cleaner, two kinds of dish soap, and so much more.... It's a little intimidating now to peek under my sink and find the cleaner army hiding in the darkness. I think I will make it a goal to diminish the amount of cleaners in my home soon, well as soon as we run out at least. Jack and I have discussed using vinegar cleaners before, but I don't think it had much reinforcement until reading today's entry at Sweet Roots. I love that Mary was contemplating kitchen clutter as well!

By far the best advantage of getting the apartment in order is the fact that I can really use my kitchen for some fun! Jackson and I made some delicious Thai curry and homemade PopTarts! Not entirely sure about the success of the PopTarts, they look good, but tomorrow's breakfast will be the true test. We'll see!

Yeah, my template was a Celestial Seasonings Tea box! 

I'm thinking of using this as a place to review recipes, discuss books, and of course whine about the usual mundane in my life. I wonder if that would be worth reading? I've been meaning to post more regularly and perhaps making these recipes will provide the motivation I need to actually update this thing. Anyhoo, until next time!

Green With... Sorrel?

I've got a bad case of the greens; little monsters everywhere... Recently I've been getting in touch with several old friends with whom I had lost contact after several school changes and moving down here to Boise. It really is amazing the ways that we can find one another nowadays! I was lucky with friends in the two high schools I attended. Back home, I found these eclectic and compassionate people who really filled in the more drab areas of my life. However, when I changed schools, I lost touch with nearly all of them because I am an awful friend. I admit it! I'm a terrible friend.... Communication is my strong point, so long as I'm in contact with you on a regular basis, but move to another school, another city, and I'm incommunicado... It's something that I'm only now just getting a handle on.

Learning about everyone's lives, accomplishments and triumphs is proving to be equal parts exciting and terrifying, though. Jackson thinks that I have the propensity to measure the worst in myself against the best in all others. Perhaps there's a grain of truth in that, but right now the green bits of me are feeling very loud and I keep running into this feeling that I'm just not measuring up to snuff. One of my friends is PUBLISHING as an undergrad (amazing!!!). Talk about feeling inferior! I have quite a bit to be proud of (I think...), but it's hard to feel very enthused when it feels like there is a substantial amount of treading water going on and very little return. I'm getting to this point where the goals I set for myself are no longer satisfying and this is abjectly terrifying.

I've been here before, but with my current status in life, I'm having a hard time putting things in adequate perspective, and so I am green... Should I ditch academia and start up that bookstore I've always dreamed of? Is the simplicity of that aspiration compatible with the part of me that wants to get my PhD and meaningfully contribute to society through that sort of outlet? What about my aspirations for a family? Could I just complete the bachelors and embrace a domestic life? Mommy-envy has been plaguing me for a while now as well! Several of my friends down here and up north are nesting and the life they display is so attractive, but I know that behind each Instagram photo of the cherubic little kid is a screaming tyrant in T-2 min... But perhaps that life is as attractive as it seems... I've always wanted to be a mother and yet I never contemplated actually being a mother. 


And so the final green monster, and the one I choose to absorb myself with post-post, is a bunch of sorrel that has been chilling in my fridge for the past day and a half. I've never cooked with the green and yet it looked so lovely at the market this past Saturday that I was compelled to buy a bunch. But what to make? I have issues actually cooking a lot of greens because I love the taste of raw foods so I wanted to make something raw, but sorrel is a bit bitter for my taste. Lucky me, one of the friends I've been reconnecting with suggested making a pesto out of it. So, I'm off to the blender to pulverize some sorrel, garlic, walnuts, and a tomato. At least there is one green monster I can overcome this afternoon! 

EDIT: The finished product! It was delicious, and I think it's a make again! Into the blender went a bunch of sorrel, 1/2 of a tomato, 1/2 clove of garlic, about 1/4 cups of olive oil, 1/4 cup of walnuts, a pinch of rosemary and basil each, freshly ground S+P, and as a final touch I stirred in some feta cheese. The whole mess went wonderfully over some whole wheat spaghetti and I sprinkled some more cheese on top and finished it off with a couple of tomato slices. Jack wasn't really the biggest fan of this combo, but I think that it is mostly because he's not into pesto's in general. Nuts aren't really his thing!